Dealing with Death & seeing the Hidden Blessing

Last Friday I dealt with the unexpected tragedy of my Grandmother. I remember the time, and what I was doing when I got the text from my brother. I had just gotten off of work and I was proceeding to spend the rest of the day with my boyfriend. I called him just like any regular day laughing and joking. It was later that a text came into my phone saying that my Grandmother had been rushed to the hospital because she had stopped breathing. When I got that text I was in shock, but I thought to myself it will be alright she will be fine, I will make sure I go see her tonight just to make sure everything was alright. I had no clue that there would be no next time. The next text I recieved broke me down into tears, my brother was the one to tell me she had passed. I started to cry and my sister was there too, and we both broke out in tears. My tears continued to come, and then I stopped because I knew I had to be strong for my little sister, I couldn't let her see me cry because then she would cry. So I held it in and I spoke encouraging words to her to relieve her pain (and my own).

Since the sudden death of my Grandmother, my life has changed. I have never had to deal with death the way that I did with my Grandmother, seeing her lifeless and not saying a word just didn't sit well with me. Seeing my mom in the pain she was in losing her mother, I could have lost it myself watching her tears fall from her eyes. I had tried to be strong like I should have but I just couldn't take it anymore, being strong was becoming too much, I held my mom in my arms and just cried.

Through the death of my Grandmother I have realized some very important things about life that I thought I should share with the world. The first thing I realized is that on earth we aren't  meant to stay. With that in mind you have live life like everyday is your last day. You have to love as easily as you take a breath. You also have to learn to forgive, in life we are all human-beings who make mistakes. Whether someone has done you wrong, the time is now to accept a "sorry" or say a "sorry." Nothing means more in life to apologize, and even if you aren't ready to do that just remember that time is precious sometimes you have the time to change and then other times you do not have the time. I have also learned that as unfortunate as death is it has an interesting way of bringing family together, and making family realize that the time is now to appreciate one another, don't wait until its too late.

I hope you take heed to these words I say, and I hope you learn to love, to laugh at the good times, the bad times, but do not fall prey into thinking that life is all about money and working, because as wonderful as that may sound its not true. Life is meant to be beautiful, to have relationships with family and friends, and to appreciate the simple things of life, and that is the hidden blessing that we miss seeing because we get so blinded by other things.

Live life, love life, and learn to laugh at life, so that your days on earth may be joyous.

**Miss Carr**

What does it take to have Healthy Relationships?

Recently, I have been doing much soul-searching throughout myself and throughout my relationship. I'm learning new things about myself everyday that I never knew before. I came across a very important question, what does it take to make a relationship work? There are many types of relationships such as familial relationships, friendships, and intimate relationships, even though all these relationships are different they all have one common thread, and that is that a relationship has to have unconditional love, trust, good listening skills  and an understanding nature, respect, a great deal of care and concern, and most important two unwaivering people.

The familial relationship, which I find to be the most important relationship of them all, is important because it sets the groundwork for all relationships. Your family is the first set of people you come into contact with everyday, they know you inside and out, they know your weaknesses, know your strengths and mainly everything about you. It is important to respect this relationship because if done right it will teach you the rudiments to love and to a happy relationship, friendship, or partner relationship. I learned this not too long along, I started to realize that I had to change things between my family and I, in order to build the foundation and to work on other relationships. I am still in that process, its hard because I make mistakes and I don't always get it right but I know that building a healthy relationship with these very important people will be what makes my relationship with my friends and a man/woman work properly.

Friendships are the ideal relationships because a friend is a supporter regardless of any discrepancies that a person may have. For family relationships it is sometimes harder to convince or portray ideas because there are already preconceived notions about how you should deal with things and how you should handle things. On the contrary friends will simply say, "alright if this is not the best decision we won't know, but I will be there for you regardless." A friend can come in handy when needing someone to talk to, the good news about a friend is that friends can transcend in every aspect of  any type of relationship and to be honest they should. Family members don't just have to be related my blood and bone, but they can be related my being there and being supportive of decisions just like friends. Before you get involved in an intimate relationship with someone else you must be their friend first, this is a great indicator for the future with a intimate partner. What it proves is that even if we were or could never be "intimate" I still respect and honor this person as a good friend of mine. The word friend is a strong term, its means a person cares, loves, supports, and is there no matter what obstacles may exist.

The last and most serious is the "intimate relationship." I call this the most serious relationship because it requires us to put our trust and understanding into another human being we really can never be sure about knowing and trusting. One thing is certain, if one learns to trust, love, and care this will be the best relationship one could have. This relationship is not only good for the people who are in it together but individually this kind of relationship can help an individual understand life. Further, this kind of relationship is all about learning, making mistakes, learning compromise, and being open with your thoughts and feelings. Being in a relationship myself I have come to truly realize so many things about myself that I never knew before. I am gaining insight each day and it feels great. Being in a relationship is not easy work, in fact it is a true test of strength. Getting to know someone else outside of yourself and trusting someone whom you've just met is hard, but I will tell you something, it seems worth going through the trials and tribulations which have  allowed me to become stronger, wiser, and realize things about that person and yourself.

All relationships are different in type and structure but their is one underlying phenomenon that exists in all healthy relationships, you have to be with open with your feelings, you have to learn to trust someone else outside of yourself. You must take a risk sometimes, make a decision, and stick with it. When the road gets tough you have to stick it out, work it out, and put yourself out there to let the other person know you care. For many people these words I am saying are foreign to their ears, but it is through many of these actions that love exists and the most beautiful things can be created.

So as a word of advice to all my readers, remember to love your family unconditionally, take care of them, treat your friends as you would want them to treat you, acknowledge them, respect them, and in your intimate relationships make sure to communicate feelings. Moreover, learn what it takes and what it means to trust, and always remember to love. If you learn to do these things and do them unconditionally in every aspect of your life, you will see the improvements, the beauty, the love in life, and all at once you will find peace with your heart.

Yours truly,
Miss Carr*