Dealing with Death & seeing the Hidden Blessing

Last Friday I dealt with the unexpected tragedy of my Grandmother. I remember the time, and what I was doing when I got the text from my brother. I had just gotten off of work and I was proceeding to spend the rest of the day with my boyfriend. I called him just like any regular day laughing and joking. It was later that a text came into my phone saying that my Grandmother had been rushed to the hospital because she had stopped breathing. When I got that text I was in shock, but I thought to myself it will be alright she will be fine, I will make sure I go see her tonight just to make sure everything was alright. I had no clue that there would be no next time. The next text I recieved broke me down into tears, my brother was the one to tell me she had passed. I started to cry and my sister was there too, and we both broke out in tears. My tears continued to come, and then I stopped because I knew I had to be strong for my little sister, I couldn't let her see me cry because then she would cry. So I held it in and I spoke encouraging words to her to relieve her pain (and my own).

Since the sudden death of my Grandmother, my life has changed. I have never had to deal with death the way that I did with my Grandmother, seeing her lifeless and not saying a word just didn't sit well with me. Seeing my mom in the pain she was in losing her mother, I could have lost it myself watching her tears fall from her eyes. I had tried to be strong like I should have but I just couldn't take it anymore, being strong was becoming too much, I held my mom in my arms and just cried.

Through the death of my Grandmother I have realized some very important things about life that I thought I should share with the world. The first thing I realized is that on earth we aren't  meant to stay. With that in mind you have live life like everyday is your last day. You have to love as easily as you take a breath. You also have to learn to forgive, in life we are all human-beings who make mistakes. Whether someone has done you wrong, the time is now to accept a "sorry" or say a "sorry." Nothing means more in life to apologize, and even if you aren't ready to do that just remember that time is precious sometimes you have the time to change and then other times you do not have the time. I have also learned that as unfortunate as death is it has an interesting way of bringing family together, and making family realize that the time is now to appreciate one another, don't wait until its too late.

I hope you take heed to these words I say, and I hope you learn to love, to laugh at the good times, the bad times, but do not fall prey into thinking that life is all about money and working, because as wonderful as that may sound its not true. Life is meant to be beautiful, to have relationships with family and friends, and to appreciate the simple things of life, and that is the hidden blessing that we miss seeing because we get so blinded by other things.

Live life, love life, and learn to laugh at life, so that your days on earth may be joyous.

**Miss Carr**

What does it take to have Healthy Relationships?

Recently, I have been doing much soul-searching throughout myself and throughout my relationship. I'm learning new things about myself everyday that I never knew before. I came across a very important question, what does it take to make a relationship work? There are many types of relationships such as familial relationships, friendships, and intimate relationships, even though all these relationships are different they all have one common thread, and that is that a relationship has to have unconditional love, trust, good listening skills  and an understanding nature, respect, a great deal of care and concern, and most important two unwaivering people.

The familial relationship, which I find to be the most important relationship of them all, is important because it sets the groundwork for all relationships. Your family is the first set of people you come into contact with everyday, they know you inside and out, they know your weaknesses, know your strengths and mainly everything about you. It is important to respect this relationship because if done right it will teach you the rudiments to love and to a happy relationship, friendship, or partner relationship. I learned this not too long along, I started to realize that I had to change things between my family and I, in order to build the foundation and to work on other relationships. I am still in that process, its hard because I make mistakes and I don't always get it right but I know that building a healthy relationship with these very important people will be what makes my relationship with my friends and a man/woman work properly.

Friendships are the ideal relationships because a friend is a supporter regardless of any discrepancies that a person may have. For family relationships it is sometimes harder to convince or portray ideas because there are already preconceived notions about how you should deal with things and how you should handle things. On the contrary friends will simply say, "alright if this is not the best decision we won't know, but I will be there for you regardless." A friend can come in handy when needing someone to talk to, the good news about a friend is that friends can transcend in every aspect of  any type of relationship and to be honest they should. Family members don't just have to be related my blood and bone, but they can be related my being there and being supportive of decisions just like friends. Before you get involved in an intimate relationship with someone else you must be their friend first, this is a great indicator for the future with a intimate partner. What it proves is that even if we were or could never be "intimate" I still respect and honor this person as a good friend of mine. The word friend is a strong term, its means a person cares, loves, supports, and is there no matter what obstacles may exist.

The last and most serious is the "intimate relationship." I call this the most serious relationship because it requires us to put our trust and understanding into another human being we really can never be sure about knowing and trusting. One thing is certain, if one learns to trust, love, and care this will be the best relationship one could have. This relationship is not only good for the people who are in it together but individually this kind of relationship can help an individual understand life. Further, this kind of relationship is all about learning, making mistakes, learning compromise, and being open with your thoughts and feelings. Being in a relationship myself I have come to truly realize so many things about myself that I never knew before. I am gaining insight each day and it feels great. Being in a relationship is not easy work, in fact it is a true test of strength. Getting to know someone else outside of yourself and trusting someone whom you've just met is hard, but I will tell you something, it seems worth going through the trials and tribulations which have  allowed me to become stronger, wiser, and realize things about that person and yourself.

All relationships are different in type and structure but their is one underlying phenomenon that exists in all healthy relationships, you have to be with open with your feelings, you have to learn to trust someone else outside of yourself. You must take a risk sometimes, make a decision, and stick with it. When the road gets tough you have to stick it out, work it out, and put yourself out there to let the other person know you care. For many people these words I am saying are foreign to their ears, but it is through many of these actions that love exists and the most beautiful things can be created.

So as a word of advice to all my readers, remember to love your family unconditionally, take care of them, treat your friends as you would want them to treat you, acknowledge them, respect them, and in your intimate relationships make sure to communicate feelings. Moreover, learn what it takes and what it means to trust, and always remember to love. If you learn to do these things and do them unconditionally in every aspect of your life, you will see the improvements, the beauty, the love in life, and all at once you will find peace with your heart.

Yours truly,
Miss Carr*

Facing Obstacles In Life

 Hello everyone! It's been a minute since I have blogged, but I am excited to say that the Fall semester has been great. This semester has been one filled with good events and not so good events; but despite the "not so good events" the great news is that I'm here today and I stand tall and strong in all of my endeavors. Currently, I am still in school doing my second bachelor's. All my life there has been one thing that I always wanted to do and that is teach. It has been my passion for the longest time since I can remember. I am doing everything in my power to make my dreams come true. However, many obstacles stand in my way.

 Today, I faced a big challenge. I took what you could call the most treacherous test I could imagine. Not only did I run out of time, but I scored lower than I did the first time! I was down about it, heck, I even shed a tear, but after some empowering words from the most high and of course my foundation, (my mom and sisters) I was renewed and I reinvested my energy and told myself to pick myself up and keep it moving. In life we run into so many obstacles, some times we don't get the job we want, sometimes we lose out on opportunities after opportunities. But there is a lesson to be learned from these type of experiences.

  I was upset and discouraged at myself, but then a thought came to me, "I can't let this one test define who I am!" I am more than the circumference of a circle, and I know better how to communicate in relationships rather than define them in analogies. I realized that I am intelligent, I am giving, I have a love for people, and no matter what IQ test I take or whatever obstacle I face, I know I can handle it. Not because I'm book smart, but because I have someone who knows my heart better than that, I know someone who blesses me each and every day. I know someone who is there for me when the cards are stacked against me, when the chips have fallen by the wayside. I know that someone has a plan for me, and maybe I cannot see it yet, but I know. That knowledge is so much greater than any book knowledge I could ever gain, its knowledge that can get me through my trials and tribulations, will help me help others, and will ultimately lead me down the path of righteousness.

 Everyone does not have the same "knowledge" about God that I profess, but let it be known that I am not entitled to change anyone or make them feel a certain way, but simply express the greatest achievement I have come to gain thus far, which is the belief that I can do any and all things through Christ who strengthens me. If your beliefs are not similar to mine, the same rules still apply, if you believe in something that is good and right you can ultimately achieve success in anything you do. Defining what is "right" can be an obstacle, so it is important to understand that you must have the right foundation in order to accomplish any obstacle. I do not know your obstacle but I can assure you that, if you never give up in life, whether your a businessman, doctor, or even a teacher, it is all about your attitude.

 Attitude will take you far by  itself. The attitude to keep going to push yourself, and continue through life despite the many obstacles is the greatest way to achieve and maintain success. I sometimes relate the idea to myself like this, if I were a homeless woman and didn't have a place to go, anything to eat, or nothing to call my own, I would still have the attitude of a Queen. It is not what we possess physically or how smart we are, but it is character that makes us who we are. Once I lose my character, and began to take for my own selfish needs without the care or thought of others, I become nothing. My attitude and my character make me who I am, nothing physical or materialistic define me. I am Mackayla, I am not my car, or my GRE test score for that matter. When you meet me, I would want you to judge not by what I know, and learned, but more by the person I am. This exact attitude is allowing me to overcome my obstacles and finally reach the epitome of true success.

So don't let any obstacle or rejection get you down, pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep trucking. Don't ever give up and never give in, because true success awaits you in the end!!!

See through the Rain, and you'll find a Rainbow at the end.

Peace and Love,
The ONE, The ONLY,
***MISS CARR***

"A Rocky Foundation" :Placing your feet on Solid Ground

Hello to my fans and fellow readers! It's been some time since my last blog, but don't think I haven't been working hard. Wow, have I been really busy with everything. Currently, I have been in the process of getting LORs (Letters of Recommendations) and getting ready for work and of course graduate school. I really couldn't be more excited about the new things to come in my life. However, this blog post today is not for me...its for you.

This blog post has everything to do with placing your feet in the ground and making your place in this big world. Recently, I have been talking to a lot of my friends and we have been having numerous conversations about how to stand tall when it comes to this world. I loved the conversation so much that I was inspired to write. By the way the conversation lasted about an hour and five minutes!!! I think it lasted so long because the topic was so relevant...how do you go through life and put yourself first? I have battled with this most of my life especially around the age of 18. I loved everything and everyone else, but when people would ask what I liked to do for fun and what made me happy I didn't have a response.

I have realized that in order to place your feet on solid ground you have to go back and do an evaluation on your life as it was before. I mean think about it, we wouldn't know anything about ourselves if we didn't at least look back and get an understanding. For me, around the age of eighteen I had not yet thought about life and what I really wanted out of life. I guess you could say I was a bit irresponsible and really didn't think twice about what I really needed out of life. I didn't think about how I would or could make a difference. So how did I learn to really plant my feet in the ground?

First and foremost, I had to look back. I will say to anyone you have to look back on your life and evaluate what you have become. Looking back allows you to understand past mistakes that were made. Keep in mind that when you make mistakes it is not just something that happens just because, there are reasons we make mistakes. The primary reasons are to learn from them and to understand that mistakes are a stepping stone to growth. One thing you don't want to do is make a mistake and then repeat it over numerous times...the goal is to make a mistake and learn from that mistake, take what you have learned and turn it into something that can help you later or help someone else in their life.

Next, you  have to learn yourself. Learning yourself is so important. Many people go through life and love to be with other people so that they don't feel lonely or depressed, but the truth is that when you learn and love yourself you become happier figuring out who you really are. Think about this scenario: before you can bring a person into your life you must always know yourself. How can a person be interested in you if you have no interest in yourself?

Lastly, ground yourself into something that is your passion. Passion can be anything. For example, if you have the passion to play basketball or write, or cook, you should make the passion your template for life. Let's say you never make it to the NBA, but instead you become the coach of a college basketball team, your passion is still there and you can still enjoy your dream. You might not ever become a bestseller, but you might help others to learn to write and become bestsellers. The goal here is to have passion in something for you, remember passion alone can take you anywhere.

These simple three steps can allow to plant your feet in solid ground rather than being a rocky foundation that falls with every brush of the wind. The ultimate goal as I always say is to live life, love life, and learn to laugh about life. Take it light, love yourself, and give of yourself to others, and after you do that I promise your life will be so much more stable and abundant.

Finding Love in Life

 Recently, I have been thinking about my life and where I am going. The path to me seems certain and I feel as if I am on the right path that God has planned for me. However, sometimes in life we face struggles...little ups and downs that get us off the path that God has created for us. During the course of my life I have faced many challenges and obstacles, and I know that many of these same problems await me in the future. But I think that I have found the prescription to life's great trials and tribulations.

 Often times we forget what a beautiful life we are given. The ability to wake up in the morning and touch the ground is just a dream in itself. We commonly forget that the breath that we breathe is precious, to be able to see the light of day, and most important to share precious moments with those we love and with the people who mean the most to us is one of the greatest gifts of life. Sometimes we get sidetracked with petty arguments, and so much discourse, but if you or that person knew today was your last breath...what would you do differently? Now's the time to do it differently.That's the prescription to life, to realize that you may not be here tomorrow, so you have to make the most of the moment because it can be here today and gone tomorrow.

 When it comes to life if we are smart we can almost make any dream that seems impossible...POSSIBLE. We can change the way we think, we can change the way we treat each other, and we can laugh more and start giving more, starting today. Over time I have learned an important lesson and that is to make the little time we spend with the people we love worth it. Ever wonder why absence makes your mind grow fonder; think about it...when someone leaves you, all you can remember is that time shared with that person. Although you may see that person afterwards, it becomes hard to imagine what life would be without them. So realize this important lesson and take heed, make every moment last, and make it a good moment. Spend time enjoying just the prescence of someone, try to minimize the arguments, and try hard to love one another. Some people do not get the chance to change and go back, because when they try to correct what's wrong...its unfortunetly too late.

 My advice to all...
         Live life with no regrets
         Remember to love ALL the time
         Minimize Arguments
         Try to compromise
         Learn to enjoy those precious moments
And most important....Take photos...because nothing captures that moment of love greater than a photo.

Peace and Love to all,

Yours Truly,
**Miss Carr**

The Busy Bee- "How to cherish and make the most of your time"

Summer time can be a great time, that is, if you have something to do. This summer has been great for me, mainly because I am discovering so many new things about life. Usually when the summer comes many people have this time off, and what they realize is that with nothing going on, unlike spring and fall seasons, you can become extremely bored. There is an expression that I like to remember that keeps me going, it is simple: An Idle Mind is the Devil's playground. Okay so lets say your not that religious and you really don't understand this quote, well its simple to understand; basically it means when you have nothing to do and you are completely bored the devil has a tricky way of playing with your mind. Boredom gets you thinking how lonely and depressed you feel, you stay inside and just shoot a blank, or you just sleep all day. Well this is a problem, some may like to do this...but I don't know who those people are and I don't know why they would like such a tremendously boring environment. Keep in mind, if you require a resting period...that is okay for the summer.

So basically I have come with the anecdote, boredom can take up time, waste precious time, and basically you end up missing out on all the great things life has to offer. Now there are some people who believe that if they are going somewhere or working, they are fine because there time is occupied, but what do those people do when the clock has slowed pace, or it is nearly impossible to meet up with friends? I'd like to think they do what I would do...find a way to keep busy. Now, it is important to not confuse busyness with having fun and not being bored, although being busy with something you like to is totally cool and very exciting.

The problem many people face is that they don't really know what they like to do and can't really define what they do when there friends or significant others are no longer with them...or perhaps how to get started on something. Well that's where I come in, the first order of business is to:

1. Define yourself by yourself. A commonly made mistake is defining ourselves by others, what this does is puts our happiness in another person. So God forbid that this person doesn't want to hang with you, or is busy doing some of the things they like to do...you might be out of luck. However, when you define you happiness by yourself whether someone is with you or not-you are okay. This works for me, anywhere I go I can be content because I know what I like and I know what makes me happy. So if you can understand yourself and how to make yourself smile before anyone else...guess what?...You'll be fine!
2. Discover what "Me Time" really means. Me time can be anything...for a guy it may be working out at the local gym, it may be enrolling in a course at school, what ever it may be, make it about you. For a girl, well this could be anything from treating yourself to a massage, or relaxing at home in a hot bath...whatever the case make sure you enjoy yourself and your time.
3. Look for new and exciting things to add to your "Bucket List." Everyone has something they either want to see or want to do. This is the perfect time, whether it be skydiving or going to the museum to learn something...make it about you, and after you discover that new thing you like to do, add it to your "Bucket List" and make it something that you can always tell other people you actually got to do.

Overall, the goal here is to just enjoy your days off, or your summer off. Whether your meeting and greeting friends, or by yourself exploring new reads...or even perhaps going to your first baseball game, remember time is ticking and its time to start doing instead of complaining about how boring and depressing your life is at the moment. Finally, remember that your situation can be changed very quickly and you hold the power in your hands to do just that! Have fun, live life, love life, and remember to keep learning.

A Child of God

I remember growing up and life seemed to be so easy. My childhood was good, despite some family challenges we faced, it was always a good time with my mom, brothers, and sisters. At the time I was growing up certain things I never questioned, its almost as if life was so fun and nothing seemed to be a problem. I didn't have time to think about the real problems that I faced. Life was innocent, not a care in the world, no responsibilities, nothing. Boy were these the good ole' days! When we come into this world it is not by choice, we don't ask to choose or parents, or our brothers, sisters, or cousins; but what most people don't realize is that its not our choice but it was God's spectacular blessing that he bestowed upon us. As we get older life becomes a choice. It becomes a choice to live righteously, to love fully, to make decisions properly, and to really understand why life is our choice of being able to choose to live. In life we don't always make the right choices; there were many times in my life when I choose to not act, to not do, to make my life my own reality. However, as I begin to fully understand and grasp my life as it is, I am starting to realize its more than money, more than expensive cars, more than being popular, more than clubbing every night on the weekends.

There's more to capture through life, there's so much to see, to much to do, and so much to live for. Everyone can have their own understanding of what living really means, but I believe that God puts everyone on this earth for one main reason, and that reason is to learn to LOVE. When I think about my spiritual father, I realize that he creates up perfectly in his own image, he constructs every part of us, from his delicate construction of the heart to the intricate lines that underlie our hands on our palms. But his purpose is to show us in a short period of time, why we are here, why it is our responsibility to take hold of this life and truly find meaning of it all. I realize that life is not promised to anyone, we are not meant to be here forever, during sometime or another we will have to leave this beautiful earth, it is just a matter or when we will leave and how we will live.

You surely don't want to get caught up on these two aspects, but what you do want to do is make when, now and make how irrelevant and live life with your heart on your shoulder. There will be adversity, times when you will fall hard, times when you will hurt, times when you will just want to break down and cry, but all of these great emotions hold magnificent power; think about the type of creature we would be if we only thought to feed our insatiable appetite, if we only thought to get, get, get. We would simply be scavengers, animals, but the greatest difference between us and scavengers is our ability to reach out and touch, to hold, to kiss, to cry when it hurts, to be that shoulder someone needs to lean on, to give when in need, and most important to love when someone is feeling unloved. These human attributes that God gave us make us a beautiful kind of creature.
 
We have the great ability to create, to think, to touch, and to really understand the purpose of life in all its beauty. Remember, that he made us perfect, made us exquisite, made us extraordinary...and most important he made us his children; remember YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.